When The Clock Strikes 12

big ben at midnight

We all have those moments, don’t we? Moments we wish would never end but, alas, the clock strikes at midnight.

We all felt like Cinderella in one way or another. May it be during your birthday, a rockin’ party, a concert, or even at a ball. It seems that time flies without notice and it flies so fast. Next thing we knew we need to go home before we turn back into a pumpkin! Lol. But, seriously, this sucks big time…

There was one moment in my woe begotten life wherein I experienced this Cinderella night. Oh well, nothing serious like losing a glass slipper (imagine the horror of that!). Anyway, here’s how the story goes…

Once upon a time in a far far far away place lived Cinderella (this is me) wherein she was being slaved by her Step Mother (my Id)  and Step Sisters (my sense of responsibility) by making her review her notes in Philosophy because she’s going to have a major test in the following morrow. Then suddenly, news of a ball that is going to be held at The Palace (the School) circulated. Good thing Cinderella had a Fairy Godmother (or in this case, a very well-connected housemate) that gave her an invitation to the ball sans the pumpkin, mice, a pretty ball gown and the most coveted glass slipper. Off they went to the ball! Then there he was, Prince Charming (my crush, eeep!). One of the king’s men introduced Cinderella to The Prince, they even took a picture together for it was an advanced time that this Cinderella lived. How charming was the night for this young Cinderella, making castles in the air, doodling Mr. and Mrs. Prince Charming on her palms, and naming their future kids… But, Cukoo! Cukoo!, the clock strikes at midnight (it was a cheap clock dear reader) and Cinderella went home…

How I wish I could have spent a little more time with my crush that night dear reader! But all good things come to an end. Too bad I wasn’t really Cinderella and I have no glass slippers during those days. But then again, he’s not exactly Prince Charming… 

What’s your Cinderella story dear reader?

Reviewing Myself

Each night, as I lay on my bed all alone, I ask myself why? Why do I feel this un-explainable anxiety? The kind of anxiety that eats you up inside. The kind that makes your head ache. The kind that won’t let you sleep at night. The kind that creeps up when you’re alone. The kind that paralyse you and makes all your thoughts tangled. The kind of anxiety, you don’t even know where to begin how to explain it.

I guess, I feel this anxiety because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Come on dear reader, admit it. We all fear the unknown. I also fear being a failure. Failure in the eyes and standards of others. Funny, right? Yes, it is funny. Why should society, the one being composed of half wits, dictate what our success is? We should define what is success unless we want others to define it for us.

I searched why do I feel fear nowadays (or should I say nowanights)? I told myself, look in my past. I did. I read my past blog site and wow. Just wow, for the revelations just poured out.

Hopes and Dreams. I was so hopeful back then. My dreams during the nights and during the days always merge. I was a dreamer. Now, I seemed to lost most of my dreams. Maybe, this is also the reason why I lost my capacity to maintain a blog. I’m changing now. I’m dreaming again. I’m hoping again. They said that as long as there is life there is hope. But, dear reader, it’s the other way around. As long as there is hope and dreams there is life…

Fearless. I was young and fearless. I’m still young but where had my fearlessness had gone? It took a break. Now it must go back. Break’s over! Be fearless!

Letting Go. I’ve lost the knowledge of ‘letting go’. Back then I was so fearless because I can easily ‘detach’ myself from things. I should relearn the things my philosophy prof taught me. Life lessons about letting go. It’s important to have the capability of detachment. So what? So what if I fail? So what is I lost this and that? So what? Let go. Breathe and let go.

So there’s my mini evaluation of myself. Re-reading my past blog site was such an eye-opener for me. I miss that girl, I’m getting back that girl. In this case, dear reader, I must get my old self back. Hello 2012, I making a comeback!